My First Date is Today! – entry nr. 10

I’m going on the first date this afternoon at 4:15, and my romantic heart is soaring! I’m trying to keep calm and realistic, so I signed up for tomorrow’s event at House of Futures: www.houseoffutures.dk . They say that we’re on the verge of creating a new gender movement where men and women will work together to shape the future. I hope they’re right. I feel like so many of us are struggling to extricate ourselves from old dreams, norms and ideals, and at the same time keeping the hamster wheel in motion from 9 – 5,  taking care of everybody else and living with a creaking and fissured relationship model. It’s a lot of up and down, swinging out of familiar models and dreams, into unchartered territories and back again, maybe without even having found our own compass and pointed the needle to what’s important. Or else we have found it, and find ourselves all alone with it.

My dreams are one of the greatest obstacles between myself and a good life. It’s almost as if my dreams are from another space and time and a mere humorous e-mail from some man is enough to activate them; and I’m already in the full throes of defining our romantic future together and butterflies start fluttering wildly in my belly. Hopefully he’s got things more under control so we can try out this three-man model! I mean, that’s the point of all of this. He’s interested in all three positions, but before we part ways he’ll have to decide which function he wants to fill. Assuming that I want him to fill a function, of course.

This new model for men and women has even inspired me at work. I’m a managing director, which means I’m a success in terms of the system, but it all seems somewhat dull and I must admit that I’m not really satisfied.  I want to work with innovations and change some of the many things that don’t work in our society. That’s what I and a whole lot of other people have been doing for the past ten years. But it almost feels like we’re still working on the same challenges as we were ten years ago. Many people make detailed studies of how to solve some of the problems in our society. They are filed on the shelf. Pilot projects on new ways of solving problems are made in numbers. Upon a positive evaluation, they’re filed on the shelf as well. A lot of passionate people work hard every day, but pointing out the need for fundamental organizational changes is like punching a pillow. Exactly like a relationship. Don’t rock the boat seems to be some sort of inofficial motto, even though so many people feel miserable or succumb to stress.

And then there’s a lot of talk about how society can’t afford to lose women’s talent and that an effort must be made to bring more women into the workforce, in all capacities. But many people, both men and women, just aren’t interested in a career under the present conditions. Personally, I’d like to see more in-depth analyses of why and what needs to be done. I’ve tried to make a career for myself several times, but I find it hard to make a career in top-down organizations where independent thoughts aren’t welcome. The only way for me to make a career has been to tone down my ambitions and accept sluggish bosses whose only interest is putting cream in their own coffee. As long as I was loyal, I got promoted. Seems like a rather unintelligent way of handling me and my potentials.

The real challenge is that the alternatives leave a lot to be desired. I could freelance. And then I’d spent a great deal of time on administration, and my professional expertise would suffer because I wouldn’t have the money stream or time to go to an exciting, inspiring conference or to workshops. And I’d be lucky to really make a big-scale difference as a freelancer. It’s a problem if you – like me – really want to make a big difference.

I dream of a workplace where I can unfold my talents and ideas and solve some of society’s many problems in close cooperation with other people. There really are a lot of issues that can be solved, as long as we’re ready to think outside of the box – and outside of traditional hierarchical structures. If you know of any organizations that fit the bill, and who are looking for talent, please let me know.

Ok, the lunch break is almost over and I need to finish my work so I can get to my date on time – wish me luck!